A Boy in the Moon Blog post

A) Comment on Ian Brown’s impressions of the L’Arche communities in Montreal and in France that he visits. (Chapters 11 and 12) Provide specific support by quoting the book directly.

Ian brown was searching for a place where Walker could be loved and cared for when the time came that he and Johanna were unable to care for him themselves. He was looking for a place that Walker could not only hold his presence, but be taken care of, feel comfortable and enjoy himself. But most importantly, he was looking for a place that could make his son happier so he would no longer have to guilt himself into thinking somehow Walker’s condition was his fault. L’arche was where he found all of this.
Ian was looking for an institution that he himself would feel comfortable going to, and from the very start he knew this could be the place. “I saw for the first time the outline of the unthinking community I was looking for. In that community, I was the stranger.” (187). Brown realized right from the get-go that Walker would be not only be able to fit in there, but even find happiness. As Brown explored more of L’arche he came to realize its daily patterns, unique people, and intriguing atmosphere. “Surrounded by the first time in my life by intellectually disabled adults I had only just met, I suddenly realized I didn’t feel nervous.” (190). He grew to love a place that accepted him for his differences.
But it was not only L’arche that liked Ian. Ian had a strong affiliation for L’arche. It taught him things he may never had noticed on his own. He understood from Isabelle what it meant to be yourself, with out having to put up walls and facades and how much greater life can be if you are focusing more on having a good time and not what others may thing. He learned that differences and strengths do not always need to lead to an unequal balance of power, but both can be looked at for their positives. “Be ready. When their light has picked you out and their questions are asked, say to them: I am not ashamed.” (220).
Walker was where Ian found darkness, and the light of the tunnel all at the same time. He was becoming nearly too much work for him, Johanna and Hayley to take care of. Every move he made was out of love and affection towards Walker, but all he wanted was for Walker to be loved the way he loved Walker. L’arche was a place that could remove Ian’s doubt that any of this was his fault, and begin a new journey of creating happiness for Walker.

B) Describe what you have learned about life with a profoundly disabled child. How has Brown’s memoir altered/clarified your attitude? Provide specific support by quoting the book directly.

Reading “A Boy in the Moon” opened my horizons towards my understanding about the care of a child with a mental disability. I have always had a knowledge on certain disabilities, and understanding of how it happens biologically or ways in which you might interact with someone with certain disabilities. But I have never taken in the fact of what happens apart from the outside world, and all the work and love that goes into taking care of them. Like any child they require time and patience, and like many children their caregivers love them. But they are different from the average son or daughter, Walker is an example of this. Walker’s CFC syndrome has made it more difficult for him to carry out regular functions; he has problems eating, going to the bathroom and has to wear cuffs on both arms to keep from hurting himself.
Looking after a child in a profoundly disabled situation is tough, it is hard, but it is rewarding. Ian Brown highlighted all of these throughout his novel. Every day seems to be uniform, in order to ensure Walker’s trust and safety. “The routine makes the eight years seem long, almost endless, until I try to think about them afterwards, and then eight years evaporate into nothing, because nothing has changed.” (1). Each day Walker runs by the same routine, at the same time, with the same people. Leaving little room for change, and in Walker’s situation he does not do a whole lot of that anyways. Although Ian is sleep deprived, and falling behind in work, and wakes up each day feeling lethargic from the long night before, he realized “Early on I learned my son could lift my mood” (11).
One thing, which astonished me, was the amount of guilt Ian had, blaming everything on himself and the time pondering what could happen if Walker didn’t exist. It was not until chapter 11 that Ian comes to his realization that nothing can change the past, but there can be much done to better Walker’s condition and create happiness to his life. “We can spend a lot of time asking the wrong questions. The right question is, how can I help my son, to be happier? The wrong question is, is it my fault?” (207). I think of Ian as a very brave man, waking up every day with Walker and his family on his mind and taking care of them, not only because he felt obligated to but because he wanted to. A life with a child in a profoundly disabled state does not seem like something just anyone can handle, but it sure does create another kind of joy for everyone surrounding his or her life.

C) Provide three questions for Ian Brown.

i) What do you think life would be like with out Walker?
ii) Looking back is their anything you would do differently, regarding Walker’s upbringing?
iii) Now that Walker has been part of your life for so long, do you still think about letting nature takes its course and not working so hard to help Walker to get better?